Sex… It’s Worth the Wait
By Tawna Kreitzer
I had been told that I was boy crazy since I was pretty little. So, it wasn’t a surprise that I wanted to start dating as soon as I entered High School. My parents were very conservative and I wasn’t allowed to date until I was15 and that was with my brother as my chaperone. That was fun…. I wasn’t allowed to be alone with boys, have them in my room, or stay out too late. I would fuss about it and told my parents it was unfair, but those were the rules if I wanted to date. I’m usually a rule follower, so I did what my parents asked of me.
Fast forward to my first day of college. I met the hottest guy! I liked him right away and was hoping he noticed me. He did notice me. We became friends and hung out. Long story short, we started dating a year later. We were attracted to each other, but didn’t want to take it all the way physically. Let me tell you, it was so hard!
I grew up in a Christian home with two loving parents and have been attending church since the day I was born. My parents shared verses on purity and how it was God’s rules and not theirs. I didn’t like it and would be envious of my friends who didn’t have those rules, but I respected my parents and decided to do what they asked.
Soon we were engaged. Knowing we were getting married didn’t make the commitment to not have sex until our wedding night any easier. In addition, I had several friends who thought I was crazy and couldn’t understand why we were waiting. I would hear things like “you need to try it to see if you are compatible,” or “what if you don’t like it,” or “you wouldn’t buy a pair of shoes without trying them out first.” I did consider it, but we made a commitment and knew that we were supposed to wait.
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. Hebrews 13:4
During our year-long engagement, I planned the perfect wedding. All my energy went into picking my wedding dress, bridesmaid dresses, flowers, cake, photographer, etc. I didn’t really think too much about the actual wedding night. My future husband Scott, on the other hand, was planning the honeymoon and especially the wedding night.
On the big day, we had a beautiful ceremony, fun reception with family and friends and then headed to our hotel in Downtown Cincinnati. I was so happy and couldn’t wait to get our life started.
We arrived at the hotel and I was anxious to get in our room and relax! As we entered the room, I had the strangest feeling as Scott closed the door behind us. We had been told for years that we shouldn’t be in a room alone together. Just because we signed a piece of paper and stood in front of a church full of people it still felt weird. I decided that I needed to “escape” and went to “take a bath.” What I really did was lock myself in the bathroom. I was so nervous. I didn’t know what to do! After a while, I composed myself and realized I needed to leave the confines of the bathroom and join my husband on our wedding night.
I have to say….it was clumsy, it was awkward, it was embarrassing, but we figured it out and it was wonderful!
We were definitely compatible. I did like it, and let me tell you, it was nothing like buying a pair of shoes!
The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. I Corinthians 7:3
I’m so thankful we stayed committed and were able to save ourselves for marriage and give that precious gift to each other. I want to encourage those who choose to wait to know it is worth it and to not let society convince you of anything else. God created this special bond between a husband and wife and it is meant to be treasured. Scott and I have been married for almost 25 years and have 4 beautiful children. We have had our ups and downs as most marriages do, but with God as the center of our marriage it continues to get better each year!
If you feel like you have crossed the line, let today be a new beginning with new boundaries. God’s grace is sufficient and your new approach to purity will honor Him.
Check out the sermon, When Does Sex Cross The Line from Pastor Paul during our You Asked For It Series.